WHAT IS STONEWALLING?
In order for relationships to be healthy and successful, people must be able to express their needs, wants, and thoughts. However, a damaging communication habit known as stonewalling can create obstacles in interpersonal interactions. In this post, we will examine the idea of stonewalling, how it affects relationships, and how to deal with and get rid of this destructive behavior.
DEFINING STONEWALLING
As a defensive reaction to conflict or emotional overload, stonewalling is the act of withdrawing from a conversation or refusing to communicate. It entails withdrawing emotionally, avoiding eye contact, being silent, or removing oneself physically from the situation. Lack of response, emotional distance, and a failure to face or resolve problems are frequently present when someone is stonewalling.
IMPACT OF STONEWALLING ON RELATIONSHIPS
a. Communication breakdown: By avoiding the expression of sentiments, wants, and worries, stonewalling causes a communication breakdown. Misunderstandings, unresolved disputes, and deterioration of emotional ties can result from this lack of communication.
b. Conflict Escalation: When one partner refuses to negotiate, it frequently provokes annoyance and contempt in the other person. As a result, the argument may get more heated or the partner trying to communicate may use more extreme means to be heard.
c. Emotional Distance: Stonewalling causes partners to become emotionally estranged from one another. The silent treatment and withdrawal can erode trust by making the other person feel rejected, irrelevant, or disregarded.
d. Added Stress and Emotional Distress: Being blocked can cause feelings of helplessness, apprehension, and melancholy. Both parties involved may experience increased stress levels and mental suffering as a result of the lack of resolution and emotional detachment.
CAUSES
Underlying emotional and psychological issues, such as the following, frequently cause stonewalling:
a. Emotional Overload: When emotions become overwhelming or too intense to control, people may stonewall as a form of self-defense.
b. Fear of Conflict: Some people may use stonewalling as a way to avoid conflict or deal with painful emotions because they incorrectly think that remaining silent would stop things from getting worse.
c. Lack of Communication Skills: Stonewalling behaviors might be influenced by poor communication skills or a limited grasp of how to handle conflict and express emotions in a healthy way.
d. Past Trauma or Experiences: Stonewalling can be a coping method used to defend oneself from perceived injury after experiencing emotional or verbal abuse, neglect, or abandonment in the past.
HOW TO ADRESS STONEWALLING?
a. Acknowledge and Reflect: Each partner needs to take stock of how they contributed to the breakdown in communication. For change to begin, understanding stonewalling tendencies is essential.
b. Establish a Safe Space: Create an environment where both partners can express their wants, worries, and feelings without fear of retaliation or invalidation.
c. Encourage active listening by genuinely hearing and comprehending the viewpoint of the other person. This entails paying attention to what they say, approving of their feelings, and offering sympathetic responses.
d. Seek Professional Assistance: In situations when stonewalling behaviors continue or worsen, couples may profit from receiving advice from a licensed therapist who may offer practical tips and methods for enhancing communication and resolving underlying issues.
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The ability to communicate and feel connected in relationships is severely hindered by stonewalling. People can reestablish good communication channels, and create better, more satisfying relationships by comprehending the effects of stonewalling, figuring out its underlying causes, and putting methods in place to deal with and overcome it. To overcome the silent barrier and foster a climate of openness, understanding, and respect, it takes willingness, empathy, and dedication to active engagement.
